i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I just had sex on a roof
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Randomize
