Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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