her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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