I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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