u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
