The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize