Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
