you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize
