Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Randomize
