in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
