I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
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