Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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