Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
