It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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