Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
