i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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