And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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