YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
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