just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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