apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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