Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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