what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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