Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
