Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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