I need help removing her.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
did i just pee glitter
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
