that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
