Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Randomize
