Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize