Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
