i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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