My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
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