so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
