I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
