Plan B is the new Plan A
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
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