dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
