I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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