Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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