I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
