lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
