Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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