we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
