Tell her she can't have a vagina
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize