You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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