drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
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