is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
