just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
