I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
