I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
