My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I am never drinking with the goths again.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Randomize
