Midget sex pt 2 tonight
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize