Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
