i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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