she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i wish my penis had a tongue
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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