He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
