I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
either way he was missing a nipple.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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