We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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