so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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