I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize