belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
