Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
