SEEEEXXX PLEASE
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
