come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
The adults are the big ones right?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
