i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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