Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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