Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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