your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
After tacos, we're chasing women.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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