His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
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