Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize