so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize